Truth, Love and Trust or How the Unthinkable becomes Reality
by Original Max A
Summary: Episode insert for 02X23. The world wants to know: How did the plan to cure Slade come about? Here's my answer to that question told from the complicated and conflicted mind of Oliver Queen.


It was a fleeting thought; seconds after Felicity stopped my self-doubt with her words, demanding that I not give up.

"_You told me that you had a choice. That years ago you could have cured him, but you chose to kill him instead. This isn't happening because you're not willing to be a killer, it's happening because you were one." _

"_You're right. That's how this started. That's how it has to end. The only move that he's left for me is to kill him. I can't cure him. I can't capture. I can't even out think him" _

"_Then don't…just make him out think you."_

She had been doing that a lot lately. Picking me up when I'm down. Pushing me to go forward. Demanding that I become the hero that the city needs. For months she's been the voice in my head, telling that I can find a new way to save the city without dropping bodies. She's been the inspiration telling me to get back in the game and be a hero.

I stared at her as once again she used her fierce mind to show me a different way to think about our newest crisis. Not the first time, I was grateful that Slade hadn't hurt her like he has hurt everyone and everything else I care about. Dig had been knocked unconscious by Slade's men, Roy had been injected, Sara had been hurt, Thea kidnapped, my mother slain in front my eyes and now Laurel was in Slade hands and yet… Felicity was still here. Strong. Alive. And supporting me like she always has. My friend. My partner. My girl. My… Felicity. Somehow, Slade didn't know what she meant to me.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I knew. I knew what I had to do.

I grabbed Felicity's hand as a half-formed plan started to take shape in my mind.

"We have to go," I told her.

"Where?" she asked me with her insistent, but all too trusting eyes.

Words came to my mind before I could stop them. _To my personal level of hell, where I sacrifice you to a monster._

But the words that came out of my mouth were the words that I knew would get Felicity to follow me anywhere.

"To save the city."

We ran to the stairway and Felicity looked down at the stairs that swirled in a square shaped spiral.

"Please tell me we're not running down 50 flights of stairs?" she questioned.

I just smiled and released a rope arrow overhead. Pulling the rope secure, I reached my hand to her.

"You're so lucky that I trust you," she said as she wrapped her arms around me.

The casual statement almost stopped me in my tracks. I was lucky and if this half-baked plan worked, she might never trust me again. I didn't have to, we had done this so many times, but I instructed her anyway as much for her assurance as mine.

"Hold on to me tight, Felicity."

She lifted her head to me.

"Always"

I looked directly at her, but she didn't stutter, she didn't backpedal. She just smiled and buried her face in my chest as we jumped. I felt her clutch me tight the whole way down, imbuing me with the trust I knew I didn't deserve. I silently willed the seconds to slow as the unthinkable coalesced in my head.

I couldn't get near Slade. But Felicity could. Slade would let his guard down around her. Everyone did, including me. That's what made her so dangerous. I never expected this little blonde IT girl with a tendency to let her mouth get away with her would work her way into my heart. And that's how I knew Slade would never see her coming.

Slade was right. He did train me. He taught me how to use my eyes, my ears and my strength to fight, to kill and to intimidate. So I knew he had no defense against the weapons that Felicity wielded; her wit, her warmth and an inner strength that is at the core of her being. I didn't know where her strength came from, but I knew without Special Forces training or five years being forged into weapon; she stood with us, stood with me and gave me the strength when I thought the darkness, doubt and manipulation would destroy what's left of my soul.

We landed softly. Felicity instinctually bent her knees as we touched the ground, evenly distributing her weight, evidence that Diggle's training had been paying off. I didn't train Felicity. I just… couldn't, but I diligently kept up with her progress… and sometimes I watched. Diggle's training style was simple: Attack and run. Watching Diggle train Felicity, it was the first time I had seen someone be trained to save themselves, instead of kill someone else. The difference is subtle, but distinct. Diggle taught her to stop someone without ending their life and Felicity took it in stride. She especially liked the mental part of Diggle's training. The part that allowed her to quiet her mind and focus on the task at hand. I've seen even do that when dealing with Isabel or I, strengthening her already sharp mind to deal with situations she'd rather avoid. I also knew she usually ran during her well-earned two hour lunch break, further training just in case. She was preparing herself.

The more I thought about this, the more I was convinced that it could work. If Felicity got close enough, she could cure Slade. Felicity could save the city. For her to get close enough… I grabbed her hand and ran as the thought ran through my mind… for her to get close enough, he'd have to take her.

My feet kept pace with my racing thoughts as we sprinted to my motorcycle.

I'd have to give Felicity to Slade. I'd have to risk her life. I'd have to let her go and place her in the arms of a madman. The last time Felicity was in that kind of danger because of me, I killed him. She didn't want me to, but there was no choice to make. Now, I'm volunteering her for that kind of danger. Felicity and Slade's faces kept on flashing in my mind. Images of him hurting her, killing her, running her through with a sword like my mother, shooting her all raced through my mind.

"Oliver?" Felicity's voice asked from behind me as she held on to my waist while straddling the motorcycle. I had stopped and hadn't started the bike. I turned to her as she leaned over my shoulder. Her voice from a mission, not unlike this one came back to me.

"_More dangerous than jumping out of an airplane or breaking into a mob casino. It's my life, my choice."_

"_If you're not leaving, I'm not leaving."_

She's strong. I had to believe that. I had to believe in her…like she believed me. I started the bike and as we raced through the burning streets, I felt Felicity's arms close tighter around me, but her face didn't bury itself into my back. I felt her looking out into the city. She loved this city, just as much, sometimes more than I did. When I was so wrapped up in myself, my family, or even The List, Felicity always saw the big picture. She was people hurting, children in pain and wanted to help. She helped to make me who I am and change The Hood into The Arrow.

For this to work, for Slade to take Felicity, he had to want her. He had to believe that he could hurt me more by killing her than by killing Laurel. I told Felicity that someone had told me that the essence of heroism was to die so others could live. I said that looking down at her face. Looking at the woman who made me a hero. When I thought about sacrificing myself to Slade, it was her face that I saw first when I thought about who I was protecting. Who I was leaving behind. Losing Laurel would destroy me. I loved her and the guilt of her life lost because of me would ruin me. But Felicity…

The moment I thought of losing Felicity, really losing her, I understood Slade completely. Losing Laurel could make me destroy myself, but losing Felicity could make me destroy the world because there would be too much pain to hold inside my body. I know she'd never want me to do that, but she's my light. She's the sun. She's what keeps pushing me day after day to put the mask on and not kill. I…

"Oliver, what are we doing here? The whole city is falling apart," Felicity insisted as we walked through the doors of the Queen mansion, my former home where Slade was watching every move.

"I know," I replied, pushing her into the center of the room where I knew she would be seen, confident I could go through with this. I exhaled slowly and began to execute the plan that just might kill her.

"You need to stay here," I stated.

"WHAT?" she replied and whirled at me, shocked. I saw her face, determined, amazing, beautiful... I couldn't let Slade touch her.

She continued, "You can't just ask me to—"

"I'm not asking!" I demanded and looked at her as the silence descended on our conversation. There had to be another way than this. I had to find it because even thinking about losing her was unacceptable.

"I will come to get you when this all over," I stated, brokering no argument. The plan was dead. I was going to find another way and marched to the exit.

"No!" she exclaimed, following me to the door.

"Felicity," I growled out, aggravated that I can never win an argument with this woman.

"No. Not unless you tell me why," she demanded. She can never let anything lie. She's always has know even when I'm trying to protect her. Tenacity, one of her best and more infuriating qualities. She would do what I asked her, but I had to explain. She just didn't understand that the explanation might kill her.

"Because I need you to be safe," I stated, hoping that it was sincere enough for her to understand, but vague enough that Slade would still write her off as just a friend or associate or whatever he believed that stopped him from going after her. He had to believe that I still cared for Laurel more… just like I did until a few moments ago.

"Well, I don't want to be safe," she argued, and her words washed over me as I heard the rest, "I want to be with you. And the others. Unsafe."

"_My life. My choice." _

"_If you're not leaving, I'm not leaving"_

The plan. The unthinkable. It wasn't her that was terrified. It was me.

"I can't let that happen," I said simply, softly.

"Oliver," she replied, matching my tone and grabbed my arm. A touch that she always used to make sure I was paying attention to her. I was paying attention now. Now more than ever to atone for all the times I avoided her eyes or looked another way. In that moment, she was my world.

"You're not making any sense," she finished.

I took a deep breath and silently begged her to forgive me. _"Make him out think you."_

"_I rely on you."_

I had no idea how much that was true until this very moment. When the truth had to be made plain for her and for person who knew me so well that only the truth could fool him. I had lied so much. Slade was so used to me lying and revealing my lies to hurt me that the only way to catch him off guard was to tell the truth.

"Slade took Laurel because he wants to kill the woman I love," I stated, each word laying the foundation for something I had been avoiding for months. Avoiding so well, it seemed, that even the woman in front of me believed the lie.

Felicity nodded, thinking she understood, but still not getting it and wanting to get into the fight.

"I know, so…"

"So he took the wrong woman," I announced for the world, for Slade to hear. I watched her freeze and process as her incredible mind caught up with my words.

"Oh," was all she had to say in response as the wheels turned in her head. She searched my eyes, trying to figure out if I meant, what she thought I meant. Was I really talking about her? In that moment, I didn't care who knew, who saw, but I needed this woman, to know and to hear the truth. Without any doubts. I kept my eyes on hers. Showing her that I saw her. I saw her each and every day. I lowered my voice because my next words were truly for Felicity Meghan Smoak and no one else.

"I love you."

The seconds stretched, but couldn't last. I saw her glance at my lips as I looked at hers, but this was not the time. Before another word could be uttered or action taken, I lifted the syringe into her hand.

"Do you understand?" I asked. A loaded question if there ever was one. Do you understand that Slade is coming for you? Do you understand that I have to leave you to face him alone? Do you understand that you can say no and I will take you out of here? Do you understand that you are the only one I can ask to do this? Do you understand that I would never ask this of you unless there was no choice? Do you understand that you can do this? Do you understand that I believe in you? Do you understand that I do love you?

"Yes," she said and I almost picked her up and took her away. I walked away, cursing myself, but knowing I had to keep my head in the game. I had to believe in her like she believed me everyday when I went to be the Arrow. She was braver than I had ever been. Stronger than I ever was. Felicity Meghan Smoak, my light, my love, my hero.


End file.
